I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
