Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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