Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Rumble strips road head = magical
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
