Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
