just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
