porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
