I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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