took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
