I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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