Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I touched a dick in church today
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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