i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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