I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
