This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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