That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
