Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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