4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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