Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
