he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
