I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
