Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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