I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
