atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
