Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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