I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
