My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
