i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This is my gift to your gina
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
