how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
a search helicopter?!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
