btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
