I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just googled if crying burns calories
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
