my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
