So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
