i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
