6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I've blown a few things in my day
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
