Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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