I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
