The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
