she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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