I accidentally burped into my bong.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
