Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
