She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
