smell my finger.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
