my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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