I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
