My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
