Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Pants are for mortals
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
