Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
