if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
