Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
