I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
