For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
